Of Attitudes and Adjustments
by Inks Inc
Summary: Gibbs has always valued and selected agents who know their own minds. He expects nothing but the best, and encourages his people to use their own initiative. But he also expects them to follow orders, especially orders that are designed to keep them safe. What happens when one agent confuses orders for requests, and initiative for insubordination? WARNING: Spanking. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

Shock hung over the bullpen. It mixed almost lazily with the resounding silence that seemed to trap all four occupants. Exchanging looks of incredulity and worry, Tony and Tim were beginning to feel distinctly hot around the collar. Clearing his throat nervously, and knowing there was nothing he could do to make the situation better, Tony grasped at the second best thing to do. And that was to make himself scarce. Glancing meaningfully at a still stunned looking McGee; he reached over and tugged the files out of the probationary agent's hand. Doubling them with his own and placing them quietly on his livid boss' desk, he gestured towards the lift.

"We'll go and check in with Abby then…if there's nothing else, Boss?" he hedged quietly, as if unsure whether or not this suggestion would fly. Seeing the throbbing line of the man's jaw twitch at his words, he took that as a silent assent and nodded. Grabbing an unknowing McGee discreetly by the forearm, he pushed and prodded him until they were hurtling into the awaiting lift. As the doors slid close, a roused Tim looked over at Tony with horror splashed across his face. Swallowing deeply, he gestured feebly at the doors in front of them.

"We can't leave her with him alone….Tony, he'll kill her! He's about to spit stones back there."

Leaning against the metal wall with a sigh, the elder of the two threw his hands up in the air. "You think I don't know that McGee? What do you think we should do, go in there and knock him out for her?" Seeing the wounded look cross his probie's face, he softened. His own worry tended to make him irritable at times. "There's nothing we can do," he muttered, more kindly, "I've never seen anyone talk to Gibbs the way she does. Or disobey him the way she does." He shook his head with a profound sorrow that was so unlike him that Tim's eyes widened. "It'll get her killed out there probie, that mouth and attitude of hers. Better a pissed off Gibbs to deal with than an early meet with the guy in the clouds, right?"

Tim sighed as he slowly realised the sheer truthfulness of Tony's unusually solemn words.

"Do you think he'll…" he blushed slightly, "uhh….you know?"

Straightening up as the elevator doors slid open on Abby's level, the elder agent shrugged slightly, his face creased with concern. "I don't know probie," he admitted, "I really don't know." Ushering the still paled McGee out, and making their way into Abby's lab, he rubbed a hand across his tired eyes. "If he does, she should count herself lucky. There's no other agent-in-charge on the planet that wouldn't can her ass after today. If the Director finds out, she's done. Not even Gibbs can save her. If he doesn't kill her himself that is."

Looking up at the sounds of the doors swooshing open, Abby smiled toothily as two of her favourite men walked in. "Hey guys," she beamed, "What brings you to my humble abode? I don't have anything for you." Throwing himself down on a nearby stool, Tony allowed himself to be squeezed into the welcoming hug that was the norm, and kept a careful eye on McGee's breathing as his turn came, before shrugging. "We're hiding out," he admitted, throwing a hand up to the ceiling. "It's kicking off up there again."

Worry instantly dogged Abby's face.

"Not again," she squeaked miserably, hugging Bert closer to her, sending flatulence echoing into the lab. "What's she done now?" She suddenly shook her head, sending her pigtails flying. "You guys left her _alone_ up there? What's the matter with you?" Throwing the long suffering hippo down, she made to start out of the lab with haste, before Tony caught her gently around the waist and drew her to him. "Don't Abbs," he instructed quietly, "She's in the wrong. Big time. Worse than I've ever seen." He hugged the scientist to him and sighed. "She's going to get herself a bullet in the head in the field if she carries on." He felt guilt coat him as he continued. "Just let Gibbs deal with it, ok?"

Abby looked at him with raw surprise.

"But you're the one who's always trying to stick up for her with Gibbs?"

Tony nodded at the truthfulness of her words, before sighing and holding her closer. "I know," he agreed, "But I think that might have been a mistake. I've never seen anyone have such a problem with following orders. I don't want her to get hurt, Abbs. And she will, it's just a matter of time if this carries on. I can't make excuses for her anymore, I can't even make excuses for myself anymore and that's because of Gibbs." He held a gentle finger to the scientist's lips as she opened her mouth to protest. "Trust me on this, ok? Besides, you trust Gibbs, don't you?"

The nod was instantaneous.

"Good," Tony murmured, "It's settled then. Let's just stay here for a bit and…see what happens."

Pulling away from the senior agent with a small sigh, but an agreeable expression, Abby chewed her lip. "I trust you too you know, not just Gibbs." With that, she was gone in search of food in her outer office for the three, oblivious to the smile that spread across Tony's face at her words. Tim wasn't however, and rolled his eyes heavily, much to Tony's amusement. "Don't worry probie," he chuckled, "It's not like that. She's like… a sister."

McGee snorted as he loosened the tie around his throat and settled in for an indeterminable wait.

"I had a friend say that before. You know where he is now? Living with my high school crush, that's where. She was _just_ like a sister to him too."

Tony raised a brow.

"Your friend lives with a blow up doll?"

Abby emerged just in time to catch the test tube that went sailing into the air, it's target being Tony's head. Turning a disapproving glare in a sheepish Tim's direction, her rant about the treatment of her equipment sent ripples of laugher throughout Tony as McGee quailed under the lab rat's displeasure. Returning to the office to get the chips she'd forgotten, she failed to see the second tube that went hurtling into the air, this time caught by a still sniggering DiNozzo.

Upstairs however, no one was sniggering.

No one was smiling.

No one was breathing with more of an effort than was strictly necessary.

Deep brown eyes were boring into bright blue counterparts. A singular and beleaguered desk was all that parted the two furious agents. A desperately fraught and frosty silence hung between the pair, and neither participant seemed in any way eager to break it. Each agent's chest heaved with their respective ire and neither seemed at all willing to be the first to break the icy staring contest. That was until the phone shrilled on Gibbs' desk, and both sets of eyes instinctively swivelled to it. Suddenly reaching out and slamming the receiver down, the team-lead effectively shattered the silent stare-off. Looking at his thoroughly unrepentant and enraged agent, he felt anger billow through him once more.

"I will ask you one more time," he growled, "Just what in the hell do you have to say for yourself?"

There was another moment's silence, before a black curtain of hair was swung over a shoulder in haughty indifference.

"In general? Loads. I guess you could say I'm an outdoors person. I like rom-coms, though I prefer-"

Gibbs held up a hand that practically vibrated with an unrivalled rage.

"Enough," he snapped with such coldness that she fell silent, "That is _quite_ enough, Agent Todd."

….

A/N: Ok, so I've re-watched a few of the earlier seasons and realised that I've never written about Kate! I love her character, and all the sassiness that went with it. But at times I thought the way she acted in terms of following Gibbs' orders and the way she spoke to Tony in particular was out of line. Still loved her character though, so this is in no way a bashing fic. Just popped into my head and demanded to be written.

_Inks.

…...


	2. Chapter 2

Silence ripped through the air between them.

Recovering quickly from the icy tone that had sent chills shuddering down her spine, Kate tilted her chin defiantly. She wasn't Tony and she wasn't Tim. She wasn't about to quail under a steaming stare from some irascibly stubborn old man. She had once protected the President of the United States. She was quite literally the best of the best. She didn't need this maddening and downright chauvinistic bullshit, and frankly, she wasn't going to swallow it. She could feel his gaze boring into her soul with an acidic burn as she resolutely stared right over his head. The cogs in his mind were whirring, and she wasn't about to interrupt the mighty Gibbs' train of thought. He didn't have anything to say that she wanted to hear.

Sweat coated the breadth of Gibbs' palms.

He'd had cocky agents, and he'd had reckless agents. He'd had cheeky agents, and he'd had disobedient agents. But he'd never had a singularly cocky, reckless, cheeky _and_ disobedient agent. Looking at his handpicked recruit as she stubbornly avoided his gaze, it was only his sheer will power that prevented him from strangling her. She was the most maddening damned agent he'd ever had under his command. He thought he'd been through the worst of it with Stan, and then along came Tony who blew Burley right out of the water. And now, it would seem that fate had seen fit to blow DiNozzo right out of the stratosphere with the addition of Todd.

He felt his teeth grind crunchily together.

"I need a yes or no answer to a simple question," he eventually growled, "You think you can manage that?"

A waterfall of scathing remarks coursed to her lips, but something in the look in his eyes had her swallowing them back. Offering a curt jerk of her head, she studied him closely as he opened his mouth with a grim expression.

"You want to keep working for me?"

Her dark eyes grew wide at the blunt as all hell inquiry. He offered nothing. No elaborations, no guidance, nothing. He merely watched her silently, his head tilted in what appeared as simple curiosity. Her pulse quickened. His question held the dulcet undertones of a certain threat. Images of her hasty resignation from her pride and joy Presidential detail swam before her eyes. She had jumped before she could be pushed back then, and the thoughts of making the same decision so soon made her gut clench.

"Are you firing me?"

Gibbs' gaze turned positively glacial as he sighed a thoroughly exasperated breath.

"Just what part of a yes or no answer is particularly taxing for you? I was led to believe you were intelligent, surely you can handle it?"

The familiar scowl splashed across her fortunate face. "If you expect me to beg your forgiveness in order to keep my job, you can forget it," she hissed, "I'm not a walkover. I did what I thought was best. I did what I was trained to do. So if you're asking me do I want to keep working for you as a federal agent, then yes, I do. If you're asking me do I want to keep working for you as a statistic to bump the agencies gender equality figures, then no, I do not."

Fresh anger sparked in Gibbs like a splintering pile of sun kissed kindling.

"You've got one hell of a smart mouth and I've had just about as much as I'm going to take of it."

He strode out from behind his desk, and without glancing at his most infuriating of charges, he thrust his chin to the staircase.

"With me."

He didn't break his gate as he stormed up the stairs, two at a time, nor did he spare a glance to check her compliance. For a moment Kate stood stunned. The anger she could instantly tell was at molten levels was one thing, but there'd been another look in Gibbs' eyes she couldn't quite decipher. Feeling somewhat lost even with her profiling abilities, she took in his retreating back in stupefied silence. Such was her inactivity that he had reached the upper level balcony as she remained in the spot where he had left her. When he glanced down and saw her staring at him silently, Gibbs wondered briefly just how well he'd adjust to life in prison.

Might be ok, they had woodwork shops in most places. He'd adjust.

"TODD."

Maybe not. Maybe he'd just kill her and have done with it. Seemed to be where his subconscious had taken him, because he hadn't meant to shout. Intentions lacking or not, it seemed to do the trick. Kate visibly jerked at his raised tones, before slowly following him up the stairs. Breathing in deeply, Gibbs continued on his trail, grateful the halls and communal areas were clear. He really didn't need any more mutterings about his infamously "different" team and his handling thereof. He could hear her trailing behind him, and didn't need to turn to know she was scowling at his back. He shook his head slowly as he stormed along.

She would be the death of him.

Landing eventually at the door that he'd only had cause to usher the boys through, he stopped still. She nearly crashed into back such was his abrupt halting. Throwing open the door to the conference room that was for all intents and purposes abandoned, he pointed into the darkened space, using his free hand to flicker on the sluggish lights. She followed his arm with a confused expression, before turning back to him with the first strains of hesitance.

"In," he said simply, in a deathly tone that would instantly have alerted Tony, Tim or even Abby to extreme danger. Kate however stood firm and shook her head as she assessed the clearly disused room once more. Squaring her shoulders, she took one step away from the room and another step away from her enraged boss. Looking Gibbs directly in the eye with a flash of her own anger, she shook head once more, with a resounding firmness.

"Why?"

The team-lead's eyes bulged with ire at the continued disobedience.

"Because I damned well said so, that's why."

Kate just shrugged lightly.

"I need more of an incentive to camp out in an abandoned room than _"because I say so"_ Agent Gibbs. What's wrong with saying whatever you want to say to me in the bullpen?"

Silence sprang up between them once more as Gibbs glared with homicidal rage at his stubborn agent.

"Trust me," he insisted quietly, in his most dangerous and velvety tone, "You don't want an audience for what I want to _say_ to you, Agent Todd."

…

TBC

…

A/N: So I was just going to have this as a short story, but I didn't realise how enjoyable writing Kate/Gibbs would be. Willing to make a longer story out of it if you'd all like? Lemme know J

-Inks

…


	3. Chapter 3

Kate stood stock still for what seemed like an eternity to both herself and a growingly exasperated Gibbs. Her wide eyes flickered between the oddly daunting doorway and an equally daunting boss. She'd never admit it, not even under the most coercive of duress, but she was suddenly losing her bravado. It was one thing to be bawled out in a public area, safe in the bright lights. It was quite another to be secreted away with a snarling Gibbs in a disused and very private room. Hesitating, she cast one last look at his smouldering eyes and sighed with a resurgence of her irritation. She was being ridiculous; she was more than capable of looking after herself. She wasn't going to go weak at the knees because Gibbs had his knickers in a twist.

She wasn't Tony.

Rolling her eyes deliberately, she threw her hair over her shoulder. Spinning on her heel, she stormed into the room and stopped still in the middle of it, her arms folded firmly across her chest. Taking a brief moment to regain complete control of himself, Gibbs breathed deeply before entering. Closing the door behind him with a snap, he walked slowly to where his pouting agent stood. Leaning against the conference room table in front of her, he raised a very slow brow.

"I am at my very limit with you, Agent Todd."

His words were low, and infused with a lingering sense of fury. They seeped around the room, as Kate blinked in an attempt to digest them. She let out another put upon sigh as she shook her head. "Look…I know I disobeyed your orders. I know I left the look-out post, and I know it's against protocol to take down a suspect alone unless absolutely necessary." She held her hand up. "I admit it, alright? You happy? I, Caitlin Todd, had the absolute audacity to use my own brain without waiting to have my hand held whilst crossing the street." She shot him a burning look. "Next time I'll wait until you say it's ok for the _female_ to act as a federal agent should. Ok?"

Gibbs instantly felt a hot sweat spread throughout his palms.

"Watch your mouth," he growled, "I'm not going to argue the point with you. You are my subordinate, not the other way around. I give an order, you follow it. I don't give a…" he checked himself. "I don't care whether you agree or not. Your agreement is not necessary, your compliance however, is. Now, like I said, I've had it with you. The way you talk back to me, the way you snipe at Tony, the way-"

Kate spluttered in indignant interruption.

"Excuse me?" she bristled, "Are you saying that not only do I have to kiss your ring, I have to bow to your precious Tony as well?" She stiffened noticeably. "In case you hadn't realised, Agent Gibbs, I was handpicked to protect the most important man on the planet. If you think I'm going to fall to the floor for your overgrown frat boy protégée, you are sadly mistaken."

The sweat that was coating Gibbs' palms was at boiling level.

"In case _you_ hadn't realised, Agent Todd, you had no choice but to resign from that protection detail, before you were fired. And I, being the moron that I seem to be, gave your sorry ass another chance. Let me tell you one thing for nothing madam, I'm starting to seriously regret that decision." He glared at her unrepentant expression. "You seem to have neither understanding nor respect for the chain of command, so let me give you a crash course in both."

He stood up straighter.

Holding up a hand high, he arched a brow.

"There's me."

He dropped his hand a little lower.

"Then there's Tony."

He dropped his hand a _lot_ lower.

"And then, and only then, is there you."

Before she could add words to the vicious scowl that was spreading fast, he continued. "Tony is me, when I am not here. You will follow his lead, and you will take a serious toning down on your smart remarks towards him. He is my second in command, and by the way, _he_ was "handpicked" by _me._ I didn't pick him up from a rebounding airplane in the middle of the night, I _asked_ him to join me."

He forced himself to be unaffected by the sudden wounded look that peeked through her façade.

"Are you understating me, Agent Todd? Because I won't explain again."

She looked at him long and hard for a moment, her eyes full of something he didn't even begin to understand. Looking away, she nodded jerkily in answer.

He swallowed a groan.

"I asked you a verbal question, means I want a verbal response."

She scowled once more, but it carried a hint of self doubt and wounded ego.

"I understand," she hissed, but without the same vehemence. "I have to follow the rules of the boys club you got running here." She threw her hands up. "Not like I'm unused to it, I'm sure I'll manage to show the teacher's pet his due deference."

Gibbs felt his much abused teeth gnash together.

Before he snapped to a decision.

"You will," he retorted calmly, ignoring her jibe which he knew was more effective than rising to it. "Otherwise, you can pack your desk and get the hell out of my sight. It's not just the disobedience on the stake-out. It's everything about your damned attitude, that's why we're here. I should have called you on it a lot sooner, and for the life of me, I don't know why I didn't. I like…people who know their own minds and don't need to be spoon fed. It's why I offered you this job in the first place. But…people who are too arrogant and with too much to prove, Kate?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Those people tend to get themselves, and others, in serious shit in the field."

Standing up slightly straighter, he scorched her with his gaze

"I will not have those kinds of people on my team."

She stiffened at his words, but her arms fell loosely from her chest. She looked at him silently for a moment, before raising a dark brow. "So you are firing me, then?" she challenged, "Just like I said in the bullpen? You do realise that we have a legal department, right? You do realise, that there is due process in termination cases?"

She regrouped and her arms flew to her chest once more.

"You can't just fire me like that. I'll fight you, I'll fight you every step of the damned way."

Gibbs smiled tightly.

"Oh I know there is due process, Kate," he agreed. "Warnings, written warnings, meetings…." He tilted his head in her direction. "That's your due process, isn't it?" He waited for her curt nod before continuing. "Well, I'll let you in on a little secret, Agent Todd. I have very little time or patience for paperwork bullshit in the guise of discipline. I agree with you though. I can't just fire you, and…if we're being honest, I don't really want to."

Her eyes flew to meet his.

"You don't?"

Gibbs remained silent for a moment, exhaling deeply. That one moment he had been striving for, had just happened. She'd dropped her act, her hard front, for just one second. Her words were coated in the self doubt he knew she'd been overcompensating for since the day she'd set foot on the Navy yard. And he wasn't lying to her. He _didn't_ want to fire her. She had ions of potential, and she'd be a damned fine agent if she could be reined in.

And that what was he was determined to do.

Rein her in.

"So…am I suspended then?" came the voice, breaking his reverie. "Desk duty?"

He sighed as he took a calculated risk.

A calculated risk that concerned his own career and livelihood.

It was one he had taken before, many times, but this would be the biggest gamble of them all.

"I don't approve of those methods of punishment," he muttered, "They're the agency's ways, and they're a waste of time."

Her wide eyes grew wider.

"Then what way?"

He stood up slowly, unfurling his arms and locked her brown eyes with his still furious counterparts.

"My way."

…..

TBC

…..

A/N: Thank you all so much for the feedback on this story, I so appreciate every single one of you!

_Inks


	4. Chapter 4

His words lingered around the peripherals of her mind for what seemed like the very longest of times. Blinking slightly, she felt her lips move infinitesimally, tracing out the words "my way" in an attempt to understand the clear nuance. One, she was balefully unaware of, but her instincts told her it was not a new way on Team Gibbs, or anything remotely like it. Biting her lip, she felt resentment well up in her. A certainty dogged her, the certainty that if it were McGee or DiNozzo who had shown a bit of independence, they wouldn't be in this strange room getting a roasting. They'd get one of those pathetic "atta boys'" each one craved, which in and of itself was a new level of tragic.

"Need me to spread some illumination, Todd?"

She jerked out of her reverie too suddenly at his speech to even take a minute watch on her tongue.

"That's a bit of a big word for you, isn't it?"

His face tightened so fast and so hard she had a sudden fear for the safety of his skin. Her impertinence surprised even her, as she swallowed subtly. She always got verbally defensive when feeling in any way cornered, but she immediately regretted her words. Despite her frostiness in relation to the topic at hand, she had no desire to be obnoxious for the sake of it. She opened her mouth slowly, but he held up a stony hand in rejection.

"Silence."

She immediately, and to his intense relief, decided to heed him.

Gibbs took her compliance and put it to good use, struggling to control himself once more. On her worst day, Abby, whom he gave considerable licence, would never speak to him the way Kate did. He felt his brows knit almost painfully. Any sensible team-lead would simply boot her as far and as fast from their team as possible, and yet, he knew in his gut he wouldn't do so. Why, he didn't know. Perhaps it was the simple case of her being one of his people, and the Marine protection he felt towards her as a result. Perhaps, and it was a far more likely alternative than he cared to admit, but perhaps…it was because he cared about her. Why, he didn't know. She had given him nothing but lip and headaches since day one.

And yet, he knew in his gut, he cared.

The same way he had begun to care for Tony, Tim and Abby…it was there, for Kate.

Sighing, he instantly felt his headache begin to deepen at the realisation. Staring at her silently, he knew she regretted her latest bout of cheek, and that at least, was some relief. That she had some concept of herself and her flaws was something he could work with. As he continued to gaze upon her, he instinctively knew that she would be the most challenging work in progress he had ever encountered. Deciding once more upon his risky course of action, with the shimmering threat of a pink slip dancing on the hazy sidelines of his mind, he cleared his throat.

"You went to Catholic school, am I right?"

So surprised by the question, Kate didn't have the time to garner a smart response.

"Yes," she blurted out, "Why?"

Gibbs slowly shot her a look that would stop advancing armies in their tracks.

"Because I asked, Agent Todd, that's why. That's basically how the whole supervisory agent and field agent relationship works, in case you didn't know. I ask questions and you give answers. It's quite simple. You got that?"

Biting her tongue with a difficulty none of the other Team Gibbs members would feel, she nodded curtly. Settling his temper once more, images of bourbon and sanding belts were the only thing that kept Gibbs from completely losing his mind. Pinching his brow as he steadied himself, he wondered, and for the very first time, was it even worth it. Was it worth risking his career, like he did without question for the other three, on this insubordinate, defiant and smart mouthed new recruit?

He glanced at her and immediately saw the real fear behind the simply habitual anger in her eyes.

Sighing, he knew the answer.

It was worth it.

It was always worth it.

"Alright, listen up Kate," he mumbled tiredly, "I'm just going to come out and say this, because my patience is well and truly gone. You can have me fired, report me to your precious legal, or do whatever the hell you want when I say it. But until I'm done saying it, I don't want to hear your voice unless I ask you a direct question. Understood?"

The exasperated and acidic tone instantly got Kate's hackles right back up to mountain range levels.

"Is that a direct question?" she queried with sardonic sweetness, "I'm not sure my little brain can detect the difference between your statements and your questions. Must be a female thing, right?"

Gibbs didn't give a verbal answer, but even he couldn't quite hide the shock at her continued tone of contempt and her bullshit sense of gender inequality. Breathing in deeply, he reminded himself that he had never and nor would he ever kill someone under his command. But by all hell was he tempted in that moment, like he had never been before. This woman was causing him more ire than even Burley and DiNozzo put together, and that was quite the damned feat.

"One more outburst like that," he ground out chillingly, "And I will take your badge and gun for good."

He meant it.

He had to have a limit, a limit that went beyond his own methods, and she was pushing it.

Kate knew immediately that he spoke the truth, and she wisely took control of herself. She knew she was being unreasonable, she knew she was being obnoxious, and yet she couldn't quite seem to stop. She was so used to battling for her position in a male dominated sphere, that she viewed everyone with male organs as a threat, as an anchor, pulling her down. Biting her lip, she sweated slightly in the uncomfortable as all hell silence that he purposely allowed to spiral around them. Eventually deciding that her discomfort was at the right level, he eyed her sternly as he opened his mouth once more.

"On my team, I don't force people to sit on their butts behind a desk as punishment. I spent most of my life in the Corps, and I've seen first-hand the resentment and inefficiency of paper based discipline. I've also seen first-hand the benefits of a more…hands on approach. I both received and later used that technique in the Corps, before both receiving and using that method here, at NCIS."

He took a deep breath as she stared at him with confusion seeping through every facial pore.

He swallowed.

He always hated this conversation, the "first" conversation. It was always a killer.

"That method, Kate? It's an officially clean record, but an unofficially sore ass."

A brick wall of silence sprung up between them, as he watched her carefully. Her eyes widened, but not as wide as Tim's had. Her comprehension was quick, but not as quick as Tony's had been. Her inner battling was intense, but much more silent than Abby's had been. He didn't say anything as he trained his gaze on her, letting her come to her own conclusions. His heart, to his annoyance, pounded with nerves in his chest. His main point of terror being that she would think him abusive. Such a thought was so far from the truth but he realised it was perhaps a logical one to a newcomer.

"I don't understand?" she eventually muttered, her eyes down. "I don't understand what you mean."

He smiled almost sadly.

"Oh, I think you do Kate," he countered quietly, "But by all means, ask anything you want to."

She looked up at him, and he saw the beginnings of raw fire in her eyes. Her shoulders went rigid before him, and her face took on a combative hue. He saw her pick her words carefully, clearly sounding them out in her head before speaking them.

That was a pleasant change, at least.

"It sounds like," she hedged slowly, but with an undercurrent of ice, "You are telling me that you…routinely and secretly beat your agents?"

Gibbs inhaled slowly.

"No," he immediately corrected, "That is most certainly not what I am telling you."

She tilted her chin upwards defiantly, but felt an odd lack of shock within her. She was pretty sure she had understood him correctly. And yet, she didn't feel an implosion of horrified shock. She didn't feel a thunderbolt of confusion; it was as if she had almost expected something like that from him. Gibbs was old school; it didn't take a genius to see that. He had always worked, and continued to work, in a field dominated by rigid rules and chains of command, order and obedience. She was also under no illusions as to unorthodox practices in certain areas of the US army, particularly in the eighteen to thirty five categories of soldiers.

But NCIS wasn't the army, and she wasn't a soldier.

And he could go to hell.

A hell of unemployment and investigations, if what she assumed was true.

She would end him.

"I would rather have to spank, or whatever the hell you want to call it, one of my agents, than bury them Kate," Gibbs said softly, "That's what I'm telling you. I never have, and never will force anyone under my command to accept that kind of discipline. It is entirely the agent's choice. I use the methods I do, so I can keep my people both alive and in a job. Citations, reports and suspensions kill good agent's careers, and if I can avoid that, I will. Disrespect, insubordination and recklessness in the field can kill an agent period, and you better believe that I will do whatever it takes to avoid that."

He shrugged slightly.

"It's not something I do because I want to; it's something I do because sometimes I have to."

Kate stared at him silently, before shaking her head incredulously.

"You _have_ to use a childish and _illegal_ punishment with your team?"

Gibbs bristled.

"When they act like children, yes," he answered coolly, "As for the illegal part, I don't really give a damn about that. If it's illegal to keep my people in line and alive, then throw me in jail. If it's illegal to try and get through to someone before they get themselves and others killed, then throw me in jail. If offering someone I care about the option of temporary pain, over unemployment and a potentially unnecessary death is illegal, then throw me in jail."

He shrugged once more.

"I mean it, Kate. Regulations written by agents', who have never spent a day away from the comfort of their offices, don't mean much to me. This is the way I was taught, and it's the way I teach. I'm not in any way, shape or form trying to force you to do anything you do not want to. I'm merely presenting you with your options, and hoping that you're not too pigheaded to cut your nose off to spite my face."

He looked at her with an expression she couldn't quite decipher, and sighed.

"You are the most stubborn, rude and downright egotistical agent I have ever had. And before you let me know, believe me, I'm aware I have an ego of my own. I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. And I used to be a little like you, Kate. An agent with too much to prove, and a completely ill-placed sense of immortality. Trust me, Agent Todd, a bullet doesn't care if you used to protect the president or if you scrubbed floors your whole life. A bullet is a bullet, and it'll go through your skull the same as if you never held a gun yourself. I've seen good people die because of their own crap Kate, and I'll be damned if I'll let that happen to you without trying my best get through to you."

He paused for breath, startled by the unusual degree of openness he was sharing.

"Like I said, the balls in your court now. I've said what I have to say, and told you what I had to tell you. You want to go out that door and up those stairs to Morrow or legal, I'm sure as hell not going to stop you. I've given you your options, and it's up to you to make your decision. You either take a suspension, which is generous considering your general conduct, or you take…my way. Your record stays clean, it stays between us, and we move on."

He fell abruptly silent then, parched from his unusually long bout of speech.

Kate's mind was whirring uncomfortably. She expected to feel an outraged bout of fury, and she did, but not to the degree she anticipated. Try as she might, she couldn't find the deception in his words. Her experience and instincts as a profiler let her know that he meant what he said. That he did what he did for his people, and not because he was sick, or abusive. That he was old school, and saw the virtues in old school methods. She bit her lip as his statement of caring for his people beat its way around her mind. She'd never really had a boss who gave a damn about her, or others, to any great degree.

In the SS, it was almost anticipated and an honour to give your life for the detail. Yet, apparently at NCIS, it was different. There wasn't the same degree of morbidity, there wasn't the same rotating door of supervisors. It was always just Gibbs, Gibbs and his stupid rules that drove her insane. But it was always him nonetheless, routine, stable. She cursed herself as she realised she had grown unconsciously attached to that stability, the routine. Something she had never had in previous employments or relationships with colleagues.

She chewed her lip as another realisation hit hard.

Something she had been trying to place her finger on, but had always fallen short from.

This team, wasn't a normal team.

It was the most screwed up, dysfunctional and downright mental family she had ever come across.

And apparently, in an even more screwed up way, she was now a part of it.

She swallowed hard.

That as it may be, she couldn't allow herself to be be…spanked, by a man who she had visualised killing more than once. A strong Catholic background and schooling had left her more accustomed to the whole concept of corporal punishment than most, so it wasn't that aspect she found galling. Penance and absolution was par for the course where she was from. It was the idea of allowing a grown man to beat her grown ass. She felt her head shake firmly as a late anger suddenly surged within her. Throwing aside the ridiculous sentimentality that had engulfed her, she cursed herself. She wasn't a simpering, delicate flower that needed the firm hand of a man to guide her to safety. She was an accomplished, successful and downright impressive woman that didn't need that kind of crap.

Not from anyone.

Especially not from the self satisfied Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"If you touch me, I will break several of your bones," she hissed, "You got that?"

Gibbs nodded immediately, but with an appreciable dash of sadness. "I would never lay a hand on you without your permission Kate," he answered softly, "That's not who I am. That's not what I'm about, or what I train my people to be about." He shrugged lightly. "If that's your decision, then we need to address your conduct on the record." Taking a breath, he steeled himself to do something he had never once done before. "Give me your badge and your gun. You're suspended for two weeks, without pay. When you return, I'll have made a decision about whether you will return to duty on my team or if it would be best that you transfer to a different unit."

He stifled a sigh of sadness and held out his hand.

"Badge and gun then, Agent Todd, right now."

The air became decidedly hard to digest as Kate looked at Gibbs' outstretched hand in alarm. The idea of shedding her gun and badge was abhorrent, as to was the idea of transferring to another team. Though she'd rather die than admit it, she was finally happy where she was. She sure as hell didn't want a suspension on her record either, she had always, rather anally maintained a perfect federal jacket. Swallowing, she shook her head faintly.

"Gibbs…c'mon, please…."

He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Kate, what the hell do you want from me?" the team-lead demanded through gritted teeth. "You want me to continue allowing your backchat, to both Tony and myself? You want me to continue wondering if you will or won't be in the _mood_ to follow my orders? You want me to continue allowing you to set that kind of example to McGee?" He shook his head firmly. "Well, it's not happening. I'm not that guy, Kate. I don't know what kind of boss' you've had in the past, because clearly they let you have a ridiculous free rein. It's not going to continue here madam, no matter who you used to protect."

He held out his hand even further.

"So, badge and gun. I won't ask again."

She stared at the hand once more, as leaden dread coated her stomach. Inspiration, cruel and crude stuck her, as she battled with herself. Before she could convince herself to the contrary, her mouth outran her brain, and her words seemed to scorch into the very fibre of the room.

"I could have _you_ fired and investigated, for what you've just told me. Do you realise that?"

But for his years of experience in keeping an expressionless face, the hurt that punched through Gibbs' gut would have been laid bare for all to see. As it was, he swallowed down the irritating emotion and nodded coldly.

"I am aware of that, Kate," he agreed icily, "And once you give me your badge and your gun, you are more than welcome to do just that. I won't hide anything that I've just told you from top brass, you have my word. But you will remove those items before you do, because for now, you are no longer an active NCIS agent, under my supervision or otherwise."

She felt her eyes grow wide as regret coursed through her, but she too, kept it from her face.

"You do this to DiNozzo, McGee and Abby?" she demanded desperately, "Threaten to fire them for every little thing unless they submit to your nineteenth century practices?"

Gibbs felt his gut clench with irritation.

"I will not discuss issues between Tony and I, Abby and I or Tim and I with you," he replied, "In the same way I would never discuss issues between you and I with them. If you want to ask them, and if they want to tell you, then that's fine. Otherwise, that topic is off limits. Whatever you may think about me, I'm not quite that bad." Feeling every single one of his years on the planet, he held out his hand for what felt like the hundredth time. "Now, I'm pretty sure I'm speaking English here. I want your gun, and I want your badge. I want them now, and I do not want to ask again."

Kate, to her intense disgust, felt sheer and utter upset course through her.

"I don't want to be suspended," she muttered quietly, her eyes on the ground. "I can't…"

Gibbs shrugged, apparently unaffected, though in reality he was deeply affected.

"People generally don't want to be suspended, Kate. It's sort of the point I think, though I'm not an expert on the matter. I've never suspended anyone before."

Her eyes snapped up.

"You haven't?"

He nodded slowly, before answering in a tone that reeked of the sadness and failure he was feeling.

"Guess there's a first time for everything, unfortunately."

Kate stared incredulously for a moment, before swallowing hard. Running a hand through her hair, she groaned internally. She couldn't be spanked by him, it would go against everything she stood for. She didn't need a boorish, however well intentioned, man to set her straight. She could see the light of her own errors, without the light of a sore ass to guide her. Remembering suddenly the way Gibbs was with Abby, she stared at him with a resurgence of her defiance and anger burning in her eyes. Before she could fully think through what she was about to say, desperation caused it to burst from her like a waterfall.

"You'd really strike a woman?"

Gibbs felt his mouth drop open at the sheer hypocrisy. Here she stood, the most ferocious and downright overzealous proponent of equal gender treatment he'd ever met…

Playing the "woman card."

Anger bubbled in him as he began to find his voice. About to demand her gun and badge once more before having her thrown from the building, he caught himself.

Initiative struck him like a bulldozer.

Folding his arms across his chest, and leaning back down upon the table, he thought furiously. Her already quickened pulse raced into overdrive as a strange smile slowly crossed his face. Deciding on a more circuitous, but ultimately more fruitful lesson, he nodded apologetically. Her eyebrows were in danger of disappearing entirely into her hairline as he appeared suddenly and utterly remorseful. Rubbing a hand across his face in apparent chagrin, his clearing of the throat also carried an alarming sense of regret.

"You're right, Kate," he said quietly, his voice actually dripping with sorrow, "Forgive me, I don't know what I was thinking." He crossed the room all of a sudden, sending dizziness coursing through the junior agent as he opened the door wide. "We'll come to some other arrangement," he continued apologetically, "Forget about the suspension and my suggestion. I'll think of something more befitting an agent such as yourself, and get back to you. As for now, you're free to get back to work."

He held the door open further, smiling a terrifyingly gentle smile at a stuck-to-the-spot with shock Caitlin Todd.

"Off you go then."

…..

A/N: Don't worry, Kate's still going to get her comeuppance. But, with Kate being Kate, it could never be straightforward.

A/N2: In relation to the coarse language bit, I agree in hindsight. I guess I'm too used to writing Tony/Gibbs, Tim/Gibbs at times. Changed, and thanks!

_Inks

…


	5. Chapter 5

Kate swallowed as she pulled into the NCIS lot and killed the engine. She was tired, she hadn't slept well. Her whole weekend had been consumed in trying to figure out just what in the earth had happened in that conference room. She had seen the shock on Tony's and Tim's faces when they re-emerged into the bull pen, to find her and Gibbs sitting quietly, working. Well, Gibbs was working; she had been staring blankly at the screen, her mind whirring. The look of surprise and confusion on their faces at her clear strong sense of health and comfort let her know Gibbs hadn't been lying about his unorthodox methods.

She had felt a strange sense of satisfaction as the two continued to look dogged by confusion.

Clearly, they just didn't know how to stand up for themselves. Not like her.

Gibbs had been as affable as Gibbs could be for the rest of the day, acting as if the kerfuffle had never taken place. The only conclusion she had tentatively come to, and that she clung to as she stepped out of the car, was that she had won. That she had illuminated the old man to the supreme error of his ways and he had wisely backed down. That was clearly the obvious answer. Swinging her bag over her shoulder as she started into the building, she felt lighter all of a sudden. She had won. She had laid down the law, and he had backed off, and she lived and breathed all the same.

Smiling her way past security, she held her head higher.

The physicality of the building was stripping away her ridiculous worries. It was Gibbs who ought to be worried, not her. She had leverage now, and she wasn't afraid to use it if she had to. She suspected that was another crucial element in his scurrying away. For all his bluster about the top brass, he didn't want to be on the wrong side of them. She had merely helped him see that simple fact, and surpassed a very important challenge in doing so.

Her walk into the bullpen was sprightly, her smile wide.

"Morning," she greeted brightly, spying McGee and DiNozzo already at their desks, tapping away at their keyboards. The two gave relatively non-committal grunts as she swung down behind her desk. She raised a brow. "Let's try that again, shall we?" she admonished lightly, "In polite civilisation, one generally answers a morning greeting with another greeting."

The two raised their heads and rolled their eyes.

"New case is in," Tony informed her casually, tapping his teeth with a pen in a way that made her want to ram it down his throat. "Just waiting on Gibbs to come back to gear up." He shot a grin in her direction, more specifically her very expensive new blouse. "By all accounts there's a very…leaky dead body, so you might want-"

The paper ball hit him square in the left eye.

"I think I can handle it, DiNozzo. We're not all as obsessed with our clothes as you are."

Rubbing his wounded eye in feigned hurt, Tony shrugged. "Have it your way dearest, just don't come crying to me when your shirt is beyond repair." Turning to McGee who was studiously clacking away, he recycled Kate's paper ball to grab his attention. Smirking at the angry twitch of the probationary agent, Tony held out his hands.

"Did the LEO's send over the preliminary photos yet? My usual baby is out sick for repair, and I don't want her thinking I was using other cameras whilst we were apart." He placed a hand over his heart and sighed loudly. "I'm classy that way, probie, there's not many men like me left in the world."

Tim McGee was decidedly ok with that fact as he threw his eyes up the ceiling and tossed over a file.

Opening the folder, Tony's grin instantly slipped off his face as he winced. "Jeez," he muttered, "It's a good thing I didn't have anything runny for breakfast." At his words, Kate looked up with a sigh. Standing she strode over to the senior agent's desk and thrust out a hand. "Why don't you let me look through them, so you can concentrate on the intricacies of your diet?" she scoffed, tugging the file out an utterly unaffected Tony's hands.

"Whatever m'lady commands," he conceded cheerfully, turning back to his screen.

Scanning the photos in her hands, Kate had to work hard to keep the disgust off her face. She knew Tony was watching out of the corner of his eye. She made to turn to the next lot of scene snaps, but before she could disentangle the poorly constructed file, it was suddenly whipped out of her hands. Turning in affront, she blinked as Gibbs materialised in front of her. Throwing the file back to Tony who caught it deftly, he shook his head in reprimand.

"Damnit Tony, those photos are disgusting. Kate doesn't need to see them first thing in the morning." Smiling apologetically at a stunned looking Agent Todd, he offered an overall "morning" to the three, before jerking his head towards the lift. "Gear up. Tony, your damned camera is back in action, I was paged three times about it. Apparently you put it down as a level one priority?"

Jumping to his feet with a smile, Tony shed his sudden confusion and nodded eagerly.

"She's a work of art Boss; I've been lost without her."

"Hmm," Gibbs grunted, "Well go on and get it then, McGee you go and gas the truck while DiNozzo's gone. Be ready to leave in ten, it's a bit of a drive." Nodding, the two men swept from the bullpen, Tim groaning as Tony launched into a full blown evaluation of the repaired camera. Rolling her eyes at their retreating backs, Kate side stepped Gibbs with a murmured "excuse me," before reaching down for her gear bag. Watching her silently, sipping on his third coffee, the team-lead allowed her to hoist the bag over his shoulder, before he cleared his throat.

"Oh," he said so gently that she near dropped the heavy bag, "Kate…I don't think it's a good idea that you come with us to the scene." He sighed, and dropped his voice even lower, adopting the tone one would use at a deathbed. "It's a horrible one by all accounts. The body is mutilated something terrible. No place for a former Presidential protector." He let out a skilled shudder as her eyes grew wide and shook her head. "No, no…what you can do for me though is work through the reports I'm having sent over from archives. I think a case I worked back…oh maybe ten years ago could be related."

He took a sip of coffee as she stared at him, too stupefied to speak.

"Don't worry," he added hastily, as if anticipating her main concern. "There's nothing graphic in the files. It's quite safe, tame even. It's a simple B and E if I remember correctly. It's just the method of entry is similar to what the LEO's are reporting." He broke off as his cell beeped, and cast a cursory glance at it. "Gotta go," he announced as he refocused on her, "The guys are ready." Moving to walk past her, he stopped dead and let out a low chuckle.

"God my old man would kick my behind if he could see my manners," he laughed, reaching out to a downright speechless Kate. Taking the heavy bag off her shoulder, he carried it back to her desk and nestled it neatly in the corner. "You shouldn't be lugging that thing around," he announced, turning back in time to see her pull her jaw off the floor, "You'll do yourself an injury. In future, you go ahead and ask me, or one of the boys to lift anything heavy around here."

He scrubbed a hand across his eyes and nodded to himself.

"Best get a move on," he announced, "We shouldn't be long. And don't worry; I'm going to speak to DiNozzo about throwing horrible photos like that at you first thing in the morning." He shook his head, before continuing in the quiet, gentle voice that was downright terrifying. "Not good for the constitution, that kind of thing. He knows how to treat a lady better than that, but don't you fret, I'll remind him. Right, I'll be back soon, get cracking on those files for me, won't you?"

He nodded in conclusion as she gaped at him, before side stepping her to leave.

Stopping short, he turned once more and held out his empty coffee cup to her. Acting on instinct, she took it, as the air soared down her unprotected windpipe. He smiled widely at her, and to her intense horror patted her gently on the shoulder as he turned on his heel once more, speaking to her over his shoulder, making his way to the lift.

"Be a dear and get rid of that for me, will you? They've changed all the trash rules, I don't know which way is up. Man brain, right?"

The doors swooshed, and he was gone.

…..

TBC

A/N: I didn't think a little bit of reverse psychology/mind games would hurt Kate one little bit.

_Inks.

…..


	6. Chapter 6

Kate tossed and turned restlessly. Her work day was playing on her mind something chronic. Images of her marching into the Navy Yard ready to take on the world plagued her. It had all gone so weirdly, subtly and downright horrendously wrong. She knew Gibbs was a special breed of man, everyone knew that. But she had never taken him for an actual chauvinistic pig. Sure, he had old world gentlemanly notions. Anyone of that guy's age did. But to actually treat her like some glorified secretary?

It was really too much.

She had appealed to DiNozzo's special insight into the man, but he had backed off rapidly. Apparently he didn't want to get in the middle of things. He had been quite abrupt actually, had practically ran from the bull pen the moment he returned. She hadn't even been aware there were things to get in the middle of. As far as she'd been aware, she had acutely shot down Gibbs' suggestion of medieval punishment. He'd accepted, and they'd moved on. Or so she'd thought. Flipping on to her back as the clock ticked on three am, she sighed. She was over thinking it that was all. She placing far too much emphasis on a few throw away comments and actions of some stubborn, past it dude.

She smiled as she settled into her pillows and sleep eventually began to grip her.

Tomorrow would be a better day.

Tomorrow, as it transpired, would in fact not be a better day.

Slouching into the bullpen, tiredness pricking her eyes, Kate clung to her coffee for dear life. Throwing herself behind her desk, she smiled when she realised she was the first one in. First in line for the good jobs, dependant on how the scene examination had panned out yesterday. Flicking on her monitor and sorting through a few files as she waited, she caught the first arrival about five minutes later. Looking a little worse for wear, Tony groaned as he placed himself very gingerly at his desk. Brows raised, Kate racked a gaze over him, surprised and irritated by the concern she felt.

"You ok, DiNozzo?"

Glancing over at her and barely concealing a grimace, Tony nodded.

"Sure thing Todd."

She felt incredulity grip her as she realised he wasn't really sitting on his chair, more hovering above it awkwardly. "Uhh…you know it won't bite you, right?" she asked quietly, utterly bewildered by Tony's strange behaviour. Smiling a sarcastic smile, Tony covered up the moment as best he could. "My cousin was once bitten by a chair, just like this one. Had termites in it for years apparently. Best not to take any chances, don't you think?"

Kate felt her mouth drop open, but any more inquiries were stemmed by the arrival of McGee.

The two exchanged somewhat loaded looks as Tim murmured a universal greeting. Kate's eyes morphed into orbs as she watched the junior agent subtly eye his chair with distaste. Sitting down gingerly, he too grimaced, though he hid as best he could. Staring at the two of them, who looked like they were essentially dancing on hot coals, something triggered in Kate's brain. A certain amazement seeped through her, before rapidly giving away to anger.

Her eyes flashed dangerously.

Standing, she placed her hands on her desk as she leaned over it slightly, grabbing their attention.

"Gibbs…assaulted you, didn't he? He's assaulted you both?"

Both junior and senior agent's stared at her, their heads rising slowly. Recovering first, but only just, Tim turned to Tony with an incredulous look on his face. Returning the look full force, Tony shook his head before turning back to Kate. He had correctly assessed yesterday that something had taken place in the conference room between Todd and Gibbs, though he didn't know what. She seemed to have no issue sitting and her attitude remained intact, so he surmised she had shot their boss down on his unusual measures. A protective streak rang through him as he felt his eyes narrow.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kate."

He could see the approval his words met with as he saw McGee nod out of the corner of his eye.

She stood even taller, her eyes still flashing with that dangerous anger.

"Don't lie," she hissed, jerking her head to include Tim in the conversation. "Neither of you two can sit properly. Trust me, I went to a convent school, I know what that means." She shook her own head in disbelief. "I can't believe you two. How could you let him do that to you? How could you let him abuse you like that?"

Tony stood slowly, his own eyes flashing dangerously.

"Listen to me," he instructed quietly, an uncharacteristic seriousness enveloping him, "And listen well. Gibbs has never once _abused_ me." He turned to Tim, and raised a brow. "Probie, Gibbs ever abuse you?" The immediate and definitive nod in the negative was his answer. Turning back to Kate once more, Tony quirked a brow. "Clearly, you've been filled in on how things work around here. If you must know, not that it's any of your business…Tim and I had a certain conversation with the Boss yesterday, because of something that happened on scene. None of your concern what, but rest assured we both deserved it." He glanced back over at McGee. "Right, Tim?"

There was once again no hesitation or untruth in McGee's nod and quiet "Yup."

Tony once again locked eyes with a still scandalised Kate.

"You happy now? Can we let this go?"

Kate gaped a little, before stalking out from behind her desk. Landing squarely in the middle of the two other agent's stations, she placed her hands on her hips. "Let me get this straight. You did something, trivial no doubt, and you both allowed your supposed boss to physically assault you on that merit?" She let out a small, disdainful laugh. "What the hell is the matter with you two? You are grown ass men. You don't need to take this. This is _illegal._ This is _insane."_

Tony's stare turned unusually glacial, but it was Tim who spoke first.

"Gibbs has never assaulted us," he contradicted coldly, "And to be frank, Kate, what goes on between Gibbs and I, or Tony and Gibbs, is none of your business." He inclined his head politely. "Just as whatever goes on between Gibbs and yourself, is none of our business. So why don't we all just go ahead and keep our opinions to ourselves?"

Kate's eyes bulged with indignation.

"It's like you two have some weird side condition of Stockholm Syndrome or something. This is not the nineteen hundreds, whipping your employees is not the done thing! How can you be ok with this? How can you possibly be ok with this? You're living in constant fear of being physically punished and you think it's ok? Because, newsflash guys, it is _not_ ok. You need to report him, now, today. You need to go on the record about this. This is systematic, archaic abuse and you need to put an end to it. I will back you; I will tell them about how Gibbs tried to do it to _me_ too."

Anger, true and free, was beginning to pulse through the two male agent's.

"You go on the record, Todd, and we'll deny any such thing. You understand? You'll look like a whack job, intent on causing trouble," Tony hissed, "Isn't that right McGee?" A cold fury rang in the usually friendly voice as Tim murmured his assent without delay. "You really ought to mind your business," the technical specialist advised icily, "And you really ought to learn how to hold your tongue about things you do not understand."

Kate's jaw near hit the floor, their words triggering an anger deep within her.

"You two are _pathetic,"_ she sneered in disgust, "You are absolutely spineless. You are both so desperate for a father figure in your lives that you'll take on anyone that treats you like crap. Physically and emotionally. It's tragic. You need to take a long, hard look at yourselves. You are literally whipping boys for Gibbs, nothing more. Honestly, I had you both pegged as having serious _daddy issues_ the moment I laid eyes on you, but this is really too much. You are tragic, the pair of you. I'm only grateful that at least I have the spine to tell Gibbs where to get off. You two could as well, if you weren't so _needy_ for him. You know-"

Out of nowhere, yet out of the shadows themselves, a hand was laid on her shoulder.

There was no mistaking who it belonged too.

Tony and Tim, having had their fair share of scraped with Gibbs, paled significantly.

They had never, ever seen him look so damned furious.

…

A/N: Not a Kate bashing fic, all will be reconciled in due course.

TBC

…...


	7. Chapter 7

"How dare you?" Gibbs practically shrieked. His temper was well and truly unleashed the moment the conference room door slammed shut behind them. "What in the good hell was going through your skull when you decided to talk to DiNozzo and McGee that way?" He paced up and down in front of an uncharacteristically shocked looking Kate, feeling rage flood him. He'd been infuriated by Kate many times since she'd started on his team, but this was in a different league. This was beyond the pale and he was livid.

"Apparently, I hit my head on that damned plane when I hired you," he continued in a snarl, "Because if I had been in my right mind, I would never have offered a spoiled, bad tempered and downright superior little brat a place on my team. I don't care if you used to protect the damned Pope. I don't care if you personally end global warming, on my team, you do not _berate_ your teammates. And I don't mean your usual sniping, I mean using experiences from both of those guys' pasts' and ramming it down their throats in spite. And all because you have a problem with _me?"_

He paced some more.

"If you have a problem with me madam, then you address it with me. Not my people. You do not use your profiling abilities to find out what would hurt them the most and throw it out there for every man and his dog to hear in the bull pen." He came to a stop in front of an ashen faced Kate and drew a staggeringly deep breath. "I've had it," he said quietly, an oddly horrifying calm overtaking him. "I'm done. I can't win with you, for the first time, I'm just stumped. This was a mistake. You don't belong here, not with me or my team."

He glanced towards the door.

"You should just consider this a learning opportunity that didn't work out and leave.

He bristled some.

"Now."

Kate Todd's world was falling apart around her as she felt her mouth fall open. Shaking her head wildly, she fought to remain calm. She was just beginning to find her feet at NCIS and the thoughts of leaving in disgrace and starting somewhere new were horrendous and abhorrent. Shock coated her as she digested Gibbs' fury. She had never, granted in a short period of time, seen him lose it like that. He was savagely sardonic and sharp tongued sure, but never had she witnessed the enraged yelling and pacing.

It made her heart beat erratically.

A part of her was already feeling thoroughly regretful about the way she had spoken to Tony and Tim. She knew enough of herself to know she was lashing out because she couldn't quite fathom the dynamics of Team Gibbs and forever felt the outsider. She recalled the deadening in their eyes as she had taunted them about their fathers and suddenly felt a bit sick. As annoying as Tony could be, she knew he was a solid agent and an even more solid partner. McGee, too. They had never done anything spiteful to her, and as her face reddened, she realised she hadn't returned the favour. As she looked up at Gibbs, she realised that if steam were to escape his nostrils, it wouldn't look out of place.

"Gibbs…"

He threw up his hands and shook his head.

"There is nothing else to say, Agent Todd," he said coldly, "Clearly this arrangement isn't going to work out. I'm not going to stand for it, and clearly you're not willing to adapt. My willingness to help you adapt is gone. No one speaks to my boys like that, no one. So…why don't you go on and clear out your desk and I wish you the best in your next job." He jerked his head towards the door. "My time is better spent elsewhere, I see that now, so let's not delay."

She felt a panic grip her, mingled in with a sense of viscous regret as she chewed her lip.

Opening her mouth, images of Tony and Tim standing mutely as her tirade lashed over them filled her mind. She closed her mouth. She had nothing to say. There was no justification. It would take time and a lot of thought to figure out why she had blown up like that. But in the moment, there was no taking it back. She felt the energy drain from her shoulders as she nodded silently. She turned to face the door before a certain sense of dignity gripped her.

"I know how you feel about apologies, but could I apologise to Tony and Tim before I go?"

Gibbs felt his mouth fall open.

"Jesus," he mumbled, "What is it with you? I can't keep up. You tear into those two for no reason not five minutes ago and now you want to go down there and say you're sorry? You think that's going to make a difference?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Kate, there are some things I will make allowances for and there are some things I won't. Deliberately hurting your teammates, with no rhyme or reason, when they would do anything for you, is something I won't make allowances for. I've put up with your attitude for a long time now, and I don't know why I have. It's done neither you nor me any favours. So no, you're not going to apologise to them. Because sometimes, sorry just doesn't cut it."

He walked across the room and opened the door.

"Out."

Kate felt her legs go slightly weak under her as she stood rooted to the spot. Her usual blustering confidence was deserting her in the face of Gibbs' raw rage. Standing mutely, she sucked in a staggering breath as she shook her head slowly. "Please," she said quietly, "I need to tell them I'm sorry. I don't know why…I don't…."

Gibbs slammed the door shut in frustration and marched to stand in front of her.

"You don't know why?" he thundered, "Well, let me help you out. I might not be as _clever_ as you Kate, but I'll give it a solid effort. The reason you kicked off with Tony and Tim is because you couldn't reconcile the fact that the two of them are not weak or spineless. They're strong, but can accept my discipline. You couldn't reconcile the fact the two of them are grown, but can accept my discipline. You couldn't reconcile the fact that the two of them were _capable of doing something that you are not_."

He drew himself up to his fullest height.

"How did I do?"

She blanched as she looked at him, shock coursing through her. It seemed to strike a chord within her, his words. Her mother's voice echoed in her mind, from years past. _Don't make the classic smart persons mistake of thinking there's no one smarter than you, Caitlin._ She shook her head in an effort to rid herself of the disembodied voice as she bit down on her lip. Gibbs said nothing as the obvious bout of realisation thundered through the most difficult damned agent he had ever had. A trickle of his usual gruff caring was beginning to trickle through his anger and he attempted to brush it away.

Kate Todd was just an insurmountable challenge.

She needed to go.

She felt a knot of anxiety form in her stomach as she digested his unusually insightful words. She certainly knew that she had felt a certain wave of jealously when she had unleashed her vitriol upon her teammates. But it made no sense to her. It made no sense that she would be jealous of their ability to accept something she had no intention of ever accepting. But if there was anything she had learned on her short foray into NCIS, it was that more things made less sense than those that did. She cleared her throat and steeled herself one last time.

"Please let me try," she asked quietly, looking Gibbs directly in the eye. "Please let me try and apologise to them. I know that I'm done here but please don't force me to leave without at least trying to make things right with them." Her eyes took on a deep quality that Gibbs hadn't seen from her before. "Gibbs…I've made a lot of mistakes with a lot of people in my life, can I have the chance to fix them… if I can? With DiNozzo and McGee?"

She bit back the "and you."

She knew it was pointless.

Gibbs knew what she clamped back and despite his fury, he found it curious.

"What mistakes do you think you've made with me?" he questioned quietly, "Because I've tried and tried to…show you the error of your ways, but you've essentially told me you're perfect. That I have nothing to teach you, because you know it all. You used to protect the President, so what could little old me have to offer you? Why the sudden change of heart?" He held up a sardonically apologetic hand and shook his head. "My bad, I suppose any reference to the heart in a conversation with a woman is chauvinistic etc etc?"

She flinched despite herself as she pushed away more of her mother's warning words.

"Well I suppose it doesn't matter," Gibbs continued icily, "The damage is done. Give me five minutes to get the guys out of the bull pen and then come down and empty out your desk." He looked at her and a certain sadness overtook him. He had never flat out failed with anyone before, even the most difficult of people. And Kate…she had so much potential, but she was without doubt her own worst enemy and that left very little to work with. He sighed and shook his head.

He couldn't help but feel a little disappointed nonetheless.

And it wasn't in her alone.

It was in himself, too.

He turned to leave but he didn't make it as far as the door when her voice rang out behind him.

"I've never really fit, anywhere. Never really….belonged."

He slowly turned back to face her and raised a brow. He said nothing but he didn't discourage her. She spoke almost to herself as she looked straight ahead and for the very first time in a long, long time, appraised herself honestly. It was one of the rare times when she didn't push away her mother's all knowing voice, it was one of the rare times when she used it as a guiding tool.

She felt a certain lightness in the appraisal.

"I've always found it hard to be…a team player. I always need to be the best, better than anyone because then you're indispensible you know. Competitive by nature, but I take it too far. I know that. I've never stayed in one place for too long, burned bridges and all that. I guess…when I saw Tony and Tim in the bullpen after you'd…" she glanced quickly at Gibbs and then back away again, "Uhh…punished them, and they still defended you, I couldn't understand it. I couldn't understand that loyalty, that protectiveness…"

Gibbs raised a brow.

"That's the whole point, Kate," he muttered quietly, thrown by her sudden openness. "I run a team that's more than a team. We do a dangerous job and I can't have my people being backed up by others who are there because they have to be. You need to care about the people you do this job with." He felt uncomfortable for a moment but he pushed through, gruffness entering his tone. "You think what you think about me and that's ok, but I care about those boys. I'd do anything for them, absolutely anything."

He shrugged.

"And they, me. That's the way it works. That's the way it is."

She turned to him slowly, seemingly finding it safe to look at him now and he instantly saw confusion splashed across her face.

"But you beat them? How can you care about them _and_ beat them?"

Gibbs sighed. He walked slowly towards Kate who to her credit didn't back down, didn't move away. He stopped right in front of her and she instantly smelled his clean, woody scent. It irked her no end that that scent provided a certain comfort and calm for her. He looked down at her with an incomprehensible look in his eyes. "Do I have your permission to touch you for one second?" he asked seriously, and she knew he wasn't joking.

Her eyes widened.

But there was something intoxicating about the trust that Gibbs engendered in people.

And in that moment, she trusted him.

She nodded.

He didn't move for a moment, conscious of the risk he was taking and unsure if was even worth it. As usual, the paternal instinct took over as he reached out and gently cupped Kate's upper arm in his own. Turning her to the side slightly, he quickly landed a sizeable swat across her behind before instantly letting her go and stepping right back out of her space.

He tilted his head at her shocked expression, the slight crack ringing around the room.

"That's all I do to the boys," he explained simply, "Sometimes I use a belt, if they're really out of line. Which happens a lot, it's to be expected." He zeroed in on her facial expressions. "Do you feel like I've just beaten you? Do you feel like I was out of control, just trying to hurt you?" He shook his head. "Kate, I hate having to tear the boys up. I try and put it off until I can't. I don't do it when I'm mad, I don't do it for no good reason. I do it because sometimes they need it and I'd rather they had a sore ass than a premature casket or a pink slip. I'm a military man and these are a military ways."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"And if you think that makes me an abusive son of a bitch, well…there's nothing I can do about that."

His gaze was suddenly fierce and soft all at the same time.

"But believe me when I tell you Caitlin, my people are my priority. Above all else. Always."

Kate felt her mouth fall open as she truly saw Gibbs, perhaps for the very first time. When she eventually spoke, her words didn't carry their usual air of confidence but they did carry sincerity. She forced herself to look up and lock gazes with Gibbs as she took in a shuddering breath. There was something she needed to say and it wasn't something she was accustomed to saying. But it was important she way it, for a variety of reasons. She didn't realise and nor would she ever know the impact of her simple words on Gibbs, but she did know the impact they had on her.

They humbled her.

"I was wrong."

….

A/N: One more chapter and done.

…


	8. Chapter 8

Gibbs stared silently for a moment. Her words were a clashing breath of fresh air and a scorching tongue of confusion. Kate never admitted wrongdoing. She never admitted being anything less than absolutely perfect, absolutely all of the time. Silence hung like a drape between them as he pursed his lips and folded his arms. Her eyes still held sparks of defiance, but they were fading embers and they were fading fast. She held his gaze remarkably well, only ducking down to the floor when the blue boring became too much to take.

"And what, pray tell, am I supposed to do with that?"

His voice was the silky velvet that topped the smouldering ire that lay within. He might have burgeoning feelings for Kate, as he'd done for his other three in their early days, but he was still done. There was only so much he could take. More importantly, there was only so much he could force the team to take. She deflated in front of him as she shrugged her shoulders. "You're not supposed to do anything with it," she said softly, "I know I'm done here. But…it's important to me that you know, that I know, I was wrong." She gulped down some air. "The way you are…this team…I've never seen anything like it."

When she looked at him square in the eye he could have sworn he saw the ghosts of her past there.

"I wish I could have been a part of it."

She smiled sadly and with a quick movement and a blink of an eye, her badge and gun were in his hands. She strode with deliberate steps to the door and pulled it open. Gibbs watched her go with an almost dazed expression, his eyes relatively glassy. When the light of the hall spilled into the room, he snapped back into life. "Kate," he called quietly, "Close that door and come back in here." She turned to face him, confusion splashing across her face. "Gibbs…there's nothing left to say. It would be better for everyone if I just left now, working any kind of notice period would only make matters worse."

Gibbs raised a brow and cleared his throat.

"I'm pretty sure I just told you to close that door…and come back in here."

His voice had taken on the deathly quiet timbre that brooked no argument. Even Kate knew that voice meant business. Gibbs was one of those people, that the angrier he got, the quieter he got. Feeling as low as she'd ever done professionally, she felt a fleeting moment of hope. At least she wouldn't be suffering the wrath of his sharp tongue on a daily basis. Closing the door once more, she walked slowly to face him once more. Perhaps he wanted the privilege of drawn out dismissal. It didn't seem like him, but if that's what he wanted, she wouldn't kick up a fuss. She just wanted to leave as soon as possible and shut the world out. Images of chilled white wine danced in her mind's eye as Gibbs rubbed his eyes tiredly, triggering a squirt of guilt in her gut.

"You want a choice, Kate?"

She blinked.

"Huh?"

He shrugged.

"You said you wished you could have been a part of my team. Of our team. Since you've been here, you've not tried to be. You've been on the edges of it, refusing to be a part of it. I've tried and I've tried, so have the boys and Abby. Most people would write you off and make no mistake, I'm a half second away from doing it myself. But maybe I'm that idiot that gives you one last chance and maybe you stop being that idiot that throws away every single last chance. What do you think?"

Kate merely stared with her eyes heavily shrouded in confusion.

"I don't know what you mean," she countered slowly, "I don't see how we could work together after…" She flushed and looked away. "After everything." Gibbs nodded thoughtfully as if considering her point a valid one. "I can see why you'd think that, but…that's because you miss the point of this team. We forgive, forget and move the hell on. You think I haven't had some spectacular flare ups from the boys?" He smiled wryly. "From Abby? They mightn't have been as…thorough as your outbursts, but we moved on." He shrugged and tilted his head. "I think we could move on from this. You'd have to ask the forgiveness of Tony and Tim, but I know them. I know they'll say yes." He felt tiredness prickle his eyes as he pushed on. "I'm offering you one more chance to be a part of this team, Kate. A one-time deal. You take it, or you leave it. There's no in-between."

Her eyes bulged and her eyes skipped a beat.

"What's the catch?"

The words were out her mouth before she could catch them. They sounded terribly blunt and aggressive and she knew it. Cringing slightly, she coughed and tried again. "I mean…I mean-" Gibbs held up a hand. "I know what you meant. And if you want to see it as a catch, then go on ahead. I prefer to see it as an opportunity for you to act like a woman like you has every ability to act." He stared at her confusion for a moment and shrugged. "Like you're human," he elaborated softly, "Like you make mistakes, like you learn from them. That's the kind of woman I know you can be."

Silence shimmered between them once more.

"I know I make mistakes," she said quietly, "I know-"

Gibbs held up a hand as he shook his head.

"No, you don't," he argued quietly, "You know that you make mistakes in the same way you know you shouldn't snipe at Tony all the damned time. You know that you make mistakes in the same way you know that you shouldn't give Tim such a hard time. You know it, but you know you're not going to do anything about it. That's not the same thing as owning your mistakes. That's not the same thing as learning from them. You're a gifted agent, Kate, but you still have a hell of a lot to learn. And that's fine. Usually. But the problem with you is, you're the most unwilling and un-teachable young agent I have ever worked with."

He scrubbed a hand through his hair.

"Basically, you have the worst attitude problem I have ever seen."

He scorched her with a all-knowing gaze.

"You agree with that or not?"

Her lips parted slightly as she digested his unusually long bout of speech. Her mind was beginning to prickle with pain under the weight of the day's events. He was right, she could see that. But she was still who she was and who she was…didn't take criticism all that well. Emotions warred within her. She had so much that she just wanted to let go, but her pride was forming a military blockade, preventing her. He was staring at her with that quiet thoughtfulness that drove her insane on a daily basis. She closed her eyes that were rapidly going dry with tension. "I…do and I don't," she muttered eventually, with a slight shrug. Hindsight would eventually tell her that she was foolish for thinking such an answer would fly.

"Oh no," Gibbs rejected softly, "I'm not accepting that. You either agree, or you don't agree. I'm tired of letting you sit on the fence with nothing but your ego for company. And before you tell me you don't have an ego, don't. I got a big enough one of my own to recognise another. But as of yet, mine isn't costing me every single professional opportunity that comes my way. There's not going to be another agent-in-charge at the side of that door if you leave, Kate. There isn't going to be another me outside a plane, that offers you a new gig right after you've screwed up another one. Your chances are running out and I'm trying to stop that. You either help me do that, or you leave. There is no in-between, I told you that, and I meant it. So I'll ask you again, do you agree or not?"

She chewed her lip as the battle continued to rage within her.

But for once, she allowed her base instincts instead of her carefully cultivated persona, to rule.

"Yes."

Gibbs felt a bursting stream of relief trickle through him, but he hid it well. One small answer represented a serious step forwards with his most difficult agent. He pondered for a moment, unused to choosing his words with any degree of care. "You agree that you have a serious attitude problem?" he queried after a moment, wanting to drive the point home. A faint flush crossed her cheeks as a slight frown puckered her brow, but she nodded nonetheless. "Yes," she repeated, "You're not the first to point it out to me, it's not a shock or anything of the kind."

Gibbs resisted the bizarre urge to smirk as he quirked a brow.

"I'm not the first?" he murmured dryly, "How surprising."

A much more pronounced scowl crossed Kate's face as she shrugged mutinously. He hesitated for a moment, before deciding to lay his cards utterly on the table. "Alright Kate, now that we're both on the same wave length as to your issue, we got to think about fixing it. Cos you're not staying unless it's fixed, simple as that. If I go down the official route with this, with everything, then the point is moot. Morrow will insist you go. I won't have a choice or a say in the matter. That means the only channel I have left, is an unofficial channel." He shrugged. "And you know what that channel is. So the question is, do you want to leave? Or do you want to go down the official road and get booted out? Or do you want to do down the unofficial road, get this resolved and forget about it?"

He shrugged once more.

"The choice is entirely yours."

She stared at him, paling under his very eyes. Her eyes widened with the bare implications of his no-nonsense proposal. She had a considerable quantity of infamous Catholic guilt bubbling along in her veins, but she had never truly considered any real penance. Having gone to convent school, she was pretty familiar with his proposal, and yet…all she could do was stare. "Isn't…isn't there any other form of…of unofficial channel?"

She hated the tone of her voice. She hated it with a passion. It had a weak, pleading tinge to it and sent a shiver of embarrassment down her spine. She was never weak. She knew than women couldn't afford to be weak. Not in her game, not in the boys club. Something small triggered in her brain as she stared at him. He was old fashioned, sure. But…her pre conceived notions that he was a chauvinist were beginning to take heat. Maybe…this wasn't the man's world she was used to. Maybe this place could be different. The embarrassment she felt began to seep away a little. Even if she was being weak, it would be ok. She wouldn't be mocked in this room, her career wouldn't take a hit for showing any vulnerability. Before she could over think her situation any further, he cleared his throat.

"Such as?"

She gaped.

"Well…well I don't know…but there has to be…there has to be something…"

Gibbs nodded thoughtfully.

"Such as?" he repeated quietly, "I'm open to suggestions, Kate. Contrary to whatever you may think, I don't enjoy doing what I have to do to keep you all from the dung heap of office politics in this place. Far from it. If you have some alternative that you think will work better with you, then I'm all ears. The way I deal with the boys works best for them, but that doesn't mean it works best for you. So…" he fought weariness as it threatened to overtake him, "What are you thinking?"

Silence swept through the room once more.

Kate looked mildly scandalised.

"Well how am I meant to know?" she blurted out, her face knitting in confusion. "You're the one who wants to…I…." she trailed off in frustration, before hanging her head. "I don't know…ok? I don't know what you want me to say." Gibbs shrugged lightly. "You're the one who is asking me for an alternative solution, Kate," he countered reasonably, "Seems to me that you should be the one to offer some part of that solution. I'm not a mind reader, I can't tell you what you don't tell me. You say that you don't want…." He paused to rephrase. "That you can't agree to the same arrangement that I have with the boys, then offer me something different. I've already told you, I'll listen to anything you have to say."

She opened and closed her mouth like a bewildered fish, fresh out of water.

Taking pity on her, Gibbs sighed and bit the bullet.

"Kate…have you ever been spanked?"

She managed to flush and glare all at the same time.

"Yes, by you, about ten minutes ago."

Gibbs couldn't quite help the small chuckle that escaped him. "Trust me," he assured dryly, "That swat wasn't even in the same ballpark as a spanking. From me anyways." He sobered up. "I'm serious, have you?" He was always cautious not to dredge up potential issues from his peoples past when introducing his unorthodox methods. And of all his people, he knew the least about the closed off Agent Todd. She growled in her throat somewhat but nodded sharply, answering in the snarky tone that drove him nuts.. "I was raised and educated as a devout Catholic, what do you think?"

"I think it didn't do you much good," Gibbs shot back, "Manners clearly aren't your forte."

She glared.

"Well it clearly won't do me much good now then, so why try?"

Gibbs returned the glower.

"Because it's either that or you leave, or you stay and I end up killing you."

The two stared at each other then, their mutual obstinacies mirroring back at them. Gibbs fought back the urge to just lay down where he was and sleep. Kate had to be the most taxing woman he'd ever met. And that was including Jenny. "Look," he sighed, "There's no need to make a meal out of this. I want a decision. Are you leaving, or staying to face official sanctions and then leaving? Or are you staying to face unofficial sanctions so that we can put this farce behind us?" He tapped the watch on his wrist. "I know I hide it well, but I'm not getting any younger. So, what's it to be?"

Her stomach clenched.

Three options.

None of them palatable.

Not of them the norm.

None of them easy.

Her mind keened as the unfamiliar wave of indecision lanced through her. She always knew what to do. It was a part of what made her, her. Always the decisive one. Her deep seated, me against the world and women against men view of the world shimmered in front of her. Allowing him, as a man, to physically chastise her…didn't that go against everything she stood for? Didn't that make her weak? Make her a victim? She gnawed on her lip as he gazed upon her silently, offering no guidance, simply watching…watching and waiting. She felt an irritating tremble quiver down her calves. "I don't want to leave…"

He nodded, with an almost gentle shine in his eyes.

"I know."

She stared.

"But…I don't…I can't…." She pawed her hair in frustration. "I can't let you beat me." Gibbs barely suppressed his eye roll. "Well good, because I have no intention of beating you. No matter how annoying you are." Kate practically mewled in frustration. "But you just _said-"_

"That we can address this with a spanking, not a beating."

He raised a brow.

"I thought I'd already illustrated the difference between the two?"

She opened her mouth to sharply contradict but found the words died in her throat. He was right. Not that she was about to admit it, but he was right. The singular swat he'd given her, when she extracting the momentous embarrassment that went with it, didn't feel abusive. It felt like the same kind of exasperated chastisement her parents would issue as a kid when she would throw her infamous tantrums. The same kind of chastisement that would instantly put an end to such histrionics and a moment later would find her in the arms of her mother or father. She swallowed heavily. Confusion dogged her, conflicting emotions tore at her.

"I'm an adult."

Gibbs had to fight really, really hard not to burst out laughing at the petulant tone.

"You are," he agreed, almost cordially, "But sometimes you act like the most spoiled little brat I have ever met. Sometimes you act as far removed from Special Agent Todd that I don't even recognise you. Sometimes Kate…you act like nothing more than a massive pain in my ass. Does that mean you're not an adult? No. Does that mean that you still have some growing up to do? Yes. Does that make you weird or underdeveloped or whatever the hell else is rattling around your brain? No. Does it make you just as screwed up as the rest of us?"

His eyes intensified.

"Yes."

She felt her mouth fall open slightly.

"You've been spending too much time around Ducky."

Gibbs snorted.

"Tell me about it."

She felt a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth as panic began to course through her. She was…well she was beginning to consider it. The way he explained it, it all seemed to simple. A straight forward equation of action and consequence. She couldn't deny she felt sick with guilt over her treatment of Tony and Tim. It was an almost viscous regret. She stiffened her shoulders as something caught her eye.

She breathed deeply as she gestured towards Gibbs' belt and raised a questioning brow.

"With that?"

He glanced down and hesitated. Truth be told, if it were one of the boys standing in front of him, it would be with that. He had to take into account that the punishment, if she accepted it, was for her performance in the field as well as her outburst in the bullpen. The infractions weren't small. But it was her first time. He breathed deeply and let his instincts overtake any real reasoning. "No," he said quietly, "Not this time. If you decide this, I mean. This time…" he cleared his throat, "This time I'll just use my hand."

She flushed visibly.

"I don't….I can't…." She shook her head furiously. "I don't know…."

Gibbs nodded immediately, but before he could open his mouth, she beat him to it.

"Would everyone know?"

His eyes widened as he swung his head from side to side. "Under no circumstances. Kate…you are free to tell whoever, whatever you want. But from my side of things, no one will ever know. I can promise you that." He spread his hand around the room. "Whatever is said and done in this room, stays in this room. I give you my word."

She had no issue in believing him.

"Kate, I'm not going to force you into anything. But...I do need an answer. Are you staying or are you going?"

She gulped as her raw instincts overtook any form of cognitive defences.

"Staying."

He felt a small tornado of relief blow through him. He had somehow known she would make that decision and yet, it was still a massive breath of fresh air. She was salvageable. She could learn and she could grow…and she could be one of the best agents he'd ever seen. Nodding thoughtfully, he tilted his head at her.

"And you know what that means?"

The blush that coloured her cheeks was dangerously crimson, but her voice was clear and steady.

"Yes."

For a moment, he was the one that was conflicted. He hated punishing any of his people. He hated it with a passion. But when it was the first time…it was especially heinous. He didn't know their tells and he didn't know their differences. That came with time and experience. Deciding to just act on impulse and trust himself, he moved forwards. The chair creaked somewhat as he pulled it out from the conference table and set it in the middle of the floor. When he turned back to face her, she was reverting back to a deathly pale.

"I could explain the ins and outs of this. I could spend all day talking to you about it, or we could just get it over and done with. You know roughly what to expect and I hope you know that I would never take it too far. I don't want to be here and you don't want to be here, so let's just get this done so that we don't have to be here. Ok?"

She stood frozen to the spot and felt her head move up and down in the absence of her brain.

He nodded and sat down, crooking a finger at her.

"Good. Now, come here."

To her intense shame, she was too frightened to move.

"Gibbs…"

His eyes held nothing of the burning fury that had raged when they first entered the room.

In fact…they were soft.

"Trust me, Kate. Just trust me."

She felt her legs move under her without actually recognising they were hers. The room grew larger as she walked and it seemed an impossible task to reach his side. But eventually, she did, and she found herself slightly lightheaded. "Gibbs…" He reached out and gently took her wrist. "Don't over think, don't over analyse, just trust yourself." His warm touch surprised her. As did the softness of his grasp. He looked up at her, solemnity burning in his eyes. "Last chance Kate, are you sure? Are you absolutely sure about this?"

She flinched slightly, but nodded with that surety that would stand to her in years to come.

Before she could even process another thought, her hold on gravity shifted. All of a sudden, she was no longer upright. All of a sudden, she was in a position she hadn't been in for many years. All of a sudden, a warm hand was wrapping around her waist as she was upended over an unimaginable knee. All of a sudden she was extremely sorry she'd taken off her long business jacket because Gibbs didn't waste any time.

Because he didn't want to give her the chance to panic.

First time or not, he didn't hold back. Holding her tightly, he brought his hand down on her upturned backside with a resounding crack. Familiar or not with the position and as stoic as she was, Kate couldn't suppress the surprised yowl that escaped her. Her dark hair framed her face as it screwed up in a pained whimper. Before the pain of the first stinging swat could even begin to dissipate, he landed another and then another. Before long the room was singing with the sounds of his broad hand to her prone behind. He said nothing as he was settling into dishing out her first brush with his techniques. She knew why she was where she was, him telling her again would just be rubbing salt in the wounds.

Kate couldn't quite believe the burning sensation that was ripping through her backside. She'd been spanked many times before, but she realised as a particularly punishing smack fell, that she'd been very sheltered. To her horror, tears were springing up in her eyes. It wasn't just from the pain, it was from the guilt. It was from the shame she felt about being in her current position. It was the look on Tony and Tim's faces. It was the thoughts of packing up another desk, another apartment. It was the thought of being alone and friendless again.

It was everything.

She was so tired…of everything. Of keeping everything in.

He felt her torso inflate and deflate with something he knew was a lot more than a response to a simple spanking. The girl had so much inner conflict. She was much too hard on herself, much too often. She was driven, but didn't know how to enjoy the moment. She was comfortable with her own company, but needed the company of others. He sighed sadly as he pulled her tighter to him, her inevitable squirming easily dealt with. He was being hard on her. He was using the leathery nature of his hand to its fullest effect and he knew she was hurting. Tipping his knee upwards, he began the application of a suitable coat of red to her presented sit spots. It was one of the hardest "first time" spanking he'd ever dished out.

A second later, the first tears fell and the first, albeit muffled sob was heard.

He felt her sadness as he forced himself to continue. He hated doing this, he really, really hated it. As she began weeping softly over his knee, he resolved to wind her punishment down. Truthfully, he'd been tough enough on her and he had no doubt that a lesson had been well learnt. She'd been over his knee for a pretty long time. Lightening up on the intensity of the swats, he slowed their speed. Before long, the last swat had fallen and his hand fell lightly upon her back, circling it gently.

She hiccoughed under the soft touch, but made no effort to move.

The floor beneath her was damp with her tears as she realised it was over. The sudden closeness of their situation hit her like a freight truck and she jerked away from his hand, scrambling to right herself. Instantly removing it and allowing her space, Gibbs stood in tandem. Her face was flushed and damp, locks of her hair sticking to her tear stained cheeks. Her eyes were wet and red rimmed, flickering uneasily. The urge to reach and rub her throbbing behind was screaming at her, but she resisted. She needed to go, to lick her wounds. She needed to be alone to truly grovel in her humiliation. She needed to….

"Kate," he murmured, breaking into her thoughts, "Look at me."

She did not.

She would not.

Her breathing was deep and erratic as she stared down at the floor, her pride wounded beyond all repair. The reality of the fact that she'd just been spanked like some stupid kid was truly hitting home and her ego shuddered under the onslaught that such a realisation engendered. How could she see him every day? How could she work with him? How could she have let what just happened, happen? How could…

"Kate," he repeated quietly, "Look at me."

She shook her head vehemently, shame creeping up on her like a dense smog. She had just acted like everything she despised. She had acted like a weak, simpering fool of a woman. She had acted like a woman that needed a man to show her the right path. She had acted like everything she had sworn to oppose. There was no way she could look at him.

But the gentle finger under the chin had other ideas.

His eyes met hers and she braced herself for the gleam of victory she was sure would be in them. She tried to reach up her arm to smack his hand away, but it wouldn't cooperate. Her chin was cupped in his hand and his eyes were empty of any victory. She watched as he took a deep breath, clearly steeling himself.

"Stop it. Stop over thinking. All you need to know and believe is this. You did something wrong and you were punished for it. You disobeyed me in the field and you lashed out at the boys. Both things are forgotten about it now, they're in the past and that's where they'll stay." He knew he had to add something, and resolved there and then to do it. Honesty was something he valued, and he owed it to her. "If something like this ever happens again on the other hand…" he gestured to her slacks, "those will be coming down. I give you fair warning."

He let go of her chin and took a step back.

His instincts were screaming at him and he was having a hard time forcing them down. He wanted to hold her, to wipe away the straggling tears that were sluggishly making their way down her face. But he knew…she wasn't ready. He knew she didn't yet understand the finality of his discipline methods. The others knew that when their punishment was over, it was over. It was clear as he studied her, that she didn't get that yet. And that would take time and he would just have to be patient.

But hell…it was hard.

She swallowed repeatedly as her breathing came under control. She clearly had no idea what to do with herself. She couldn't look him in the eye, her gaze flickering around the walls as she sniffled slightly. He watched her quietly, knowing that to say the wrong thing at such a crucial conjuncture would be a catastrophe. As she scrubbed her hand across her eyes, he found he could remain silent no longer.

"How're you doing?"

No answer.

He cursed himself.

Stupid question.

"Kate," he tried again, gently, "Look at me."

She gazed further down at the floor for a moment before tilting her head in his direction. He took a step closer. "Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." His voice was its usual authoritative self, but it carried a gentle tinge that had her looking twice. She flushed slightly as she chewed her lip and shook her head silently. He frowned and tried again. "C'mon, talk to me. I told you nothing leaves this room and I meant it."

She chewed her lip even more ferociously as the inner battle continued to rage.

"I cried."

Gibbs blinked.

"Huh?"

She sighed a watery sigh, reeking of frustration. Dropping her gaze once more she shrugged and shuffled on the spot. Gibbs felt confusion batter him. "Kate…is that what you're most fixated upon right now?" he asked, trying to keep the incredulity out of his tone, "that you cried?" Even with her head bowed he could see the flush intensify as she nodded mutely. She felt fresh tears prick her eyes and she impatiently blinked them away. She felt him move towards her and expected to flinch, to shy away from him, but she didn't. Physically, she felt sore but pretty relaxed. Emotionally, she was a wreck.

Gibbs halted directly and in front of her and hesitated, but just for a minute.

She resisted him fiercely for a moment, as he knew she would. He held her tightly, but let enough room for her to wriggle out if she really wanted. She froze in the embrace, that came so naturally for the others, standing stiff against him, unsure. But…after a minute, his familiar scent and her sudden overbearing weariness got the better of even her, and she stopped pushing him away. She didn't cling to him like Abby did, but she did melt against his chest, allowing the surprising comfort to wash over her.

He relaxed with her and pressed a soft kiss onto the top of her head as he assuaged her concerns.

"A spanking is s'posed to hurt, Kate. I expect tears. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing at all."

She melted further against him and he knew she got it. She believed it, because it was true. He held her for a lot longer than he would the others, and was surprised that she allowed it, and even more surprised by how much he needed it too. When he eventually prised her away slowly, she was still red eyed and puffy faced, but she seemed…peaceful. There were no barbs, no sarcastic remarks…if anything she just seemed exhausted.

"You should get some sleep. You look beat."

She smiled a half smile.

"I was beat."

He stared for a moment, before rolling his eyes. "I guess it was moronic to think you could be cured of that smart mouth of yours." She graced him with half a smirk, before sobering some. "So…what now?" she asked awkwardly, "What do we….how do we…"

Gibbs raised a brow.

"Nothing, that's what is going to happen now. Other than the fact that you're going to apologise to the boys, this whole deal…and the blip in the field, is done. It's over and we'll never speak of it again and it will never happen again."

He eyed her with a sudden sternness.

"Right?"

Somehow, she just knew the right answer.

"Right."

Confusion dogged her face a moment later.

"So….that's it?" She tried very hard to ignore the still burning pain in her rear. "It's done?"

Gibbs nodded simply.

"It's done."

Silence billowed between them for a moment as she digested that. She expected to be filled with disbelief and scorn. At him and herself. But…she wasn't. She felt light, tired as all hell, but light. Like the way she used to feel after confession as a kid. Like she was clean again. Like she was on a fresh slate and all the bad things she'd done were a memory in someone else's scrapbook. She gazed at him quietly, before parting her lips slowly.

"I get why you do this…why you choose uhh, this way."

He smiled.

"I knew you would."

She glared.

"You did not."

Chuckling, he nodded in defeat. "Naw, you're right…I didn't. In my defence though, you're harder to read than those damn memos they send to my email every day. Most of the time, it's like reading a different language." He smiled at her. "Which is pretty much like how it feels talking to you. Seeing as I don't speak Todd-ese and all. It's a very difficult tongue." She narrowed her eyes good naturedly, astonished by how comfortable she felt with the man who had been wailing on her ass a mere ten or so minutes ago.

"Is this going to happen again?"

The question was out before she could stop it, she needed to know. She always needed to know.

Gibbs shrugged.

"That's up to you. I'd rather it never had to happen again but…"

She stared.

"You think it will?"

He shrugged again.

"I think you have a hell of a long way to go." His eyes suddenly brimmed with pride. "But I think you've also come a hell of a long way today." Usually, he wouldn't be so open, but…this was an unusually charged situation. "Proud of what you did here today, Kate. You did more than just accept the consequences of your actions. You faced your flaws as a person….and I know that ain't easy, but you did it." He reached out an squeezed her shoulder. "I think you could have a very long and very strong career here, if you wanted."

She swallowed deeply and took a deep breath, speaking softly. "On your team?" The sudden childlike vulnerability of her voice cut him deep as he nodded. "Uh huh." The two stared at each other for a moment, each lost to their own thoughts. Neither said anything for a second. As the pain began to subside a little, Kate cleared her throat. There was something she needed to ask. Rubbing a hand through her now limp hair, she steeled herself.

"Gibbs?"

He blinked out his reverie, tilting his head invitingly toward her.

"Kate?"

She cleared her throat once more.

"What if Tony and Tim don't want me on the team anymore?"

Gibbs smiled a rather sad smile.

"They will, they'll want you."

She frowned, unsure.

"How can you know?"

He moved forwards and threw an arm around her shoulders, guiding her to the door. He suddenly knew they needed to put distance between them and the foreboding four walls. Opening the door and allowing the room to bathe in light, he dropped another quick kiss on her head and tucked her gently under the chin with a wink.

"I know… because I know my boys. I've known them a long time, I've known them from the start."

He squeezed her gently.

"Just like I'm beginning to know you."

….

Batch Update A/N: Thanks a lot for the reviews/messages asking how I am due to the break in posting. I've just been super busy is all! Just another thank you for all the feedback, especially to guest reviewers who I can't message (Fan, GuestG etc, you guys are great), and to all readers! Until next time.

_Inks.

….


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